The "Fake Food" Trap

As part of my weight loss journey, Julie Kibe has stressed the importance of not consuming what she calls "fake food."

It's not difficult to gauge what this entails.

If you are low-carb dieting and are congratulating yourself on your superior sense of restraint and yet don't seem to be losing weight as fast as you could or feel you should, let me ask you a few questions.

1. How many meals per week do you prepare from scratch? The simple fact of the matter is that if you know what's going into what you're eating, chances are you will have a better gauge of how much protein-to-carb content there is in your food.

2. How often do you eat at restaurants? The best way to combat issues with fake food is to select an entree that you can use to identify the protein source. A strip steak is usually a good bet. Chopped steak? It all depends on how much actual beef is in it. Roasted chicken is usually a better bet than chicken breast filet. Ask if it's fresh or pre-packaged and pre-portioned. The latter means fillers and preservatives. It should look like it came off a chicken, not a conveyor.

3. Seriously, do you even KNOW what you're putting in your mouth half the time? Most people are aware that prepared ground beef or pork products like meat loaf, meat balls, pre-formed sausages (not in natural casing), etc. all incorporate soy as a filler. The soy mimics the texture of the meat so well that it is virtually undetectable.

Now, some programs (like mine) discourage reading labels. However, if you haven't been hypnotized and programmed to eat certain foods a certain way it might not be a bad idea to know what's in your food before you eat it.

And, sorry Julie, I still read labels.

The reason for this is simple: my diet calls for meat and vegetables. Period. Not meat, soy fillers, high percentages of bread, cheese and preservatives like you find in most italian-style formed meat products like meatloaf and meatballs. And while I've been told not to read labels, I've also been told not to eat soy or "fake food."

So how do I follow both of these rules?

The answer is simple: I can't. No one can.

That's where it becomes necessary to err on the side of greatest benefit as opposed to that of greatest convenience.

I would rather be informed and thin than be blissfully unaware and fat. It's just that simple.

So, until someone can show me an effective way to keep both rules, I have to break one of them in order to adhere to the other.

So I choose to know what I'm eating.

Now for a few ways you can do things right and keep the pounds disappearing.

(and just so you can be convinced that I know what I'm doing, I've lost seven inches off my waist in under five months, I've gone down two full casual shirt sizes, THREE dress shirt sizes, and everything from my feet to my fingers to my face is shrinking AND IT ISN'T STOPPING... I estimate my weight loss at this point to be somewhere between 85 and 110 pounds, give or take)

1. Eat carbs correctly. Wait, what? Eat carbs? Well, yes. Just understand that there is a right way and a wrong way to incorporate them. Bread and starch that is incorporated into a protein will pass much easier than say... battered fish. Fish good, batter bad. And don't think you can just remove the batter and be done with it That slick, gluten-laced, carb-saturated layer that remains will do every bit as much damage as the batter itself. Don't give it a chance to get absorbed. Hide it (in SMALL AMOUNTS) in your protein - not WITH it, IN it. This leads nicely into my next point...

2. It's called LOW carb, not NO carb. It isn't always a bad idea to incorporate a little breadcrumb into meatloaf or meatballs. In fact, Julie recommends doing so in small amounts. Don't think you can't have steak sauce or ketchup or mayo. Just use them responsibly. Ditto with the dairy. Yes, there are carbs in milk. There is also calcium and vitamin D and other things your body needs so use it responsibly as well. Put a little cheese in your chili, but just a LITTLE. If they forget to leave the cheese off your burger at Dead Robin, give yourself a treat and watch the fat for the rest of the day.

3. Enjoy yourself. If you obsess too much over what you can't have you could trick yourself into a plateau or even start gaining. Be happy with your diet. Enjoy what you eat. Pumpkin everything will return next year right on schedule. Do you want to enjoy it then? Then do what you have to now and do it with the right attitude.

And, by the way, you can have pumpkin right now. You just can't sweeten it. You know what works as a great substitute, too? Butternut squash. It's going to be my side of choice at Thanksgiving this year. Hold the brown sugar and add a little butter and salt. It's sweet and delicious and it won't keep you fat OR send you diving off the wagon if you've successfully kicked the sugar.

Menu ideas and recipes for the holidays are coming soon so keep your eyes peeled (along with your turnips, eggplants and squashes).

Dear Mr. Judgmental

Dear Sir,

I couldn't help but notice just how fixated you were on me at Popeye's today.

I couldn't help noticing the "tsk, tsk" and the ever so slight head-shake you gave me as I gave my order.

I know what you were thinking: "Poor guy. He's just determined to be fat. It's such a shame."

I'll bet you didn't even know I saw.

Hell, I'll bet you didn't even know you were doing it.

Because, for people like you, that sort of thinking is so ingrained that it shows itself on your face automatically.

But before you judge me too harshly, maybe you should take a few things into account.

One, you don't know me. You don't know what my issues are and you do not know what has placed me in line at this grease pit at this moment in my life.

Two, you had to notice that there were two of us standing there: myself and my son. You should have also noticed that only one meal was ordered. You should have also noticed that I sat there watching while my son had is lunch.

Maybe you think I'm an irresponsible parent for feeding my kid that junk.

Well, maybe you're right.

My bad habits did rub off on him and I'm working to fix that.

But have you ever tried changing an Autistic person's routine overnight?

It just doesn't work.

So I have to exercise a little give and take with my son. He simply doesn't eat this well at home.

And here are a few more things you don't know but should:

First, It's been nearly five months since I've eaten anything fried, breaded or sweet.

That means that there is nothing on this menu I could eat if I even wanted to.

I would LOVE to see you go that long.

I would love to see how you deal with the holidays this year when so many of our traditions revolve around food; so many reminders of people that aren't with us anymore are marked by things we set on the table.

How would YOU deal with not being allowed to have ANY of them?

Because that's me this year. I've made the choice to be well and that means saying, "no" to a lot of things.

Second, I fully acknowledge that this body you see before you is indicative of a problem.

I've gotten help for that problem and now it is going away. Slowly. Most problems don't vanish overnight.

Finally, as you continue to peek up from your fried mess of a meal to gawk at me, you should know that just a month or so ago I didn't fit in this booth but now I do.

So, before you point fingers at someone and judge them for what you think you're seeing happening, you might want to step back for a moment.

Because, kind sir, you are eating here too, and it is no more a healthy option for you than it is for anyone else. Look at me. I've ten years on you if I have a day. I may well represent your future.

Reflections From a Booth at McDonald's

I'm Sitting here at McDonald's working while my car is in the shop.

I need a break from writing other people's copy at the moment so I'm writing to you.

You who are struggling with your weight.

You who want to change and feel better.

You who can't see the way to steer clear of that fucking drive-thru.

Believe me, I get it.

The night I started this diet I literally broke down and CRIED because I just didn't know how I would live without Big Macs and fries.

I couldn't imagine a life without the occasional Payday bar and Ring Ding chaser.

I couldn't bear the thought of watching a movie without downing half a bucket of popcorn and sucking on Sour Patch Kids.

It scared me. I felt like I was breaking up with a lover. And honestly, I was. I was having an affair with food that was KILLING my relationships, not the least of which was the one with my wife.

Can I be completely transparent for a moment?

My affair with food made sex less than wonderful for me. It made it unbearable (quite literally) for my wife.

I had gotten so huge that it was just impossible for either of us to enjoy it.

And yet, that first night, I wept for the loss of that lover - the one who got between us and soured what we had together. I wept for the loss of THAT.

So when you feel that compulsion to steer into the drive-thru, believe me, I get it. I sacrificed a LOT to perpetuate that affair.

So, back to today...

The smell of the burgers they're making right now (it's the switch between breakfast and lunch) is like the stink of death.

I am seriously sitting here harboring resentment for just how badly this stuff once hurt me.

I can't even LOOK at McDonald's food anymore without disgust.

I do take a lot of the responsibility for what happened to me because, well, I have free will and never once "had to" steer into that drive-thru.

But I don't think anyone will argue that this food does have a certain draw. The carbs and sugar do create an addictive feeling.

I pray for the day when my son stops wanting to eat here because he's being served such great food at home but I know that I walked him through that door the first time. I gave him that taste for this poison and the addiction is hard to break.

Whenever I start feeling like I miss Big Macs and fries I simply remind myself that the last time I had one I couldn't fit in the booth I'm sitting in now, I was angry, I felt awful all the time and I wasn't getting laid...

...and it all falls right back into proper perspective.

And, just to make sure you know there's a happy ending to the above story, I have managed to not only turn back the clock on my weight, but also on my marriage.

Issues and problems that existed there five months ago simply don't anymore.

I am thankful and I am blessed.

And I'm also out of this death pit now - the car is done and so is this post. Time to go get some REAL FOOD!!! :-)

When it Feels Like Nothing is Happening

I have a confession to make to all the folks who have asked for yet another picture of my progress in the last few days.

I haven't taken any more because I just don't look that much different. Things are kind of at a stand-still.

At least outwardly.

This goes along with my last post about how looks can be deceiving. It's true, because I'm still losing weight and I know it.

The problem is that when I see myself in mirrors and the image doesn't appear to be changing anymore, I have no motivation to keep snapping pictures.

the reality of it, though, is that I still do see changes. I FEEL changes. They're happening, just not in ways I can put on display.

Yeah, things have slowed down considerably, but that doesn't mean they've come to a halt.

I'm at the point where I'm probably going to have to fight a little harder and do a little more to keep things moving faster.

This weekend in Maine will be good for that.

So that's my confession: I haven't shared any more pictures because there's really not much to see and I don't want anyone put in a position where they feel they need to be "polite" and comment on the emperor's new clothes.

But please remain encouraged. I am. I know that I'm losing, I know where and I know how.

It is still happening.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

So lately I've been struggling.

Yes, I hate to burst your bubble but this isn't all wine and roses.

In fact, I'm not allowed to drink wine.

I discovered early on in this journey that my body was going to lose the weight how and where it wants to.

This is small consolation when: a) it doesn't feel like anything is happening anymore,  b) you're not losing it where you want to and c) you're not allowed on a fucking scale to gauge your progress.

I find a few things to be a bit ridiculous about the program I'm on but I follow them because either you're all in on this or you're out, mentally and emotionally speaking.

I know I'm still losing. It's obvious. It's just more subtle than it was three months ago.

I'm just not losing where I WANT TO and I'm not losing evenly.

The gut is still huge.

Huge enough to keep me off the roller coasters.

And yet I have a 40 waist.

Which I haven't had since college.

I could ride roller coasters when I was in college.

But here's the thing: I also don't have to request tables at restaurants anymore for not being able to fit in a booth.

I can eat in a restaurant comfortably, but no roller coasters.

And it's all about the damned belly.

I look great otherwise.

This, however, is going to take its sweet time.

So what's the message here?

This road is not always going to be easy.

It requires a level of patience most don't possess.

So what it boils down to is: am I willing to wait for it?

More to the point, am I more willing to wait for it than I am willing to throw my hands up in the air and say, "Oh well! I tried!"

The simple answer is that the belly will go eventually.

And it will be a momentous event.

It's just not going to be today.

So... just for today, I choose to stay the course.

Just for today, I choose to eat right.

Just for today, I choose to be satisfied with my progress thus far.

Just for today, I'm not going to quit.

I'll get up tomorrow and make all those decisions again.

But I'll worry about making them then.

It Can Happen

I posted this picture on a friend's blog the other day:

Pay no attention to the "start date."

It's a full month, to the day, BEFORE I started on my low-carb diet.

Needless to say, things are happening rapidly, but the weight loss IS slowing down.

It was bound to happen.

Losing 3 pounds a day indefinitely would simply not be healthy.

The less weight you have to lose, the slower it is going to come off.

Here's the thing:

Part of this program is not getting on a scale. I honestly do not know how much I weigh right now.

I'm reasonably certain I've broken the 300 barrier but that's all I know.

Yet I can gauge by clothes and other factors (mostly involving my wife...'nuff said) about how much I'm losing and how quickly.

At the moment I think a safe estimate is that I'm losing 2-3 pounds per week.

It may not seem like much but think about it:

Let's meet in the middle and call it 2.5 pounds.

In 10 weeks that's 25 pounds.

In 20 weeks that's 50 pounds.

20 weeks is only 5 months.

Not even.

So even if I have 100 more pounds to lose (and I would guess it's more like 60-80 at this point, not 100), that's only another 10 months at this rate.

I totally expect it to slow down more.

This is why I still maintain that it will take a year.

If you have ever tried a diet like this and you've hit a plateau, let me ask you about some of your eating habits.

Actually, let me add a disclaimer:

Plateaus are part of the process. Your body will sometimes need to take some time to repair itself and get ready to drop more weight. This is normal.

Endless plateaus that go on for months or recur frequently generally are not. Odds are you're plateauing frequently because you start cutting corners. Go ahead and admit it. I've done it many times (just not on this program, thankfully).

If' you're doing any of these things, you might want to consider not.

1. Are you eating bacon more than once a week?

2. Are you eating any lunch meat at all that you cannot use to identify the single, actual protein source?

3. Are you eating anything with nitrates? How much sausage would you say you consume? That includes hot dogs, brats, pepperoni, salami, liverwurst, etc. All of these things have nitrates and all of them impede processing fat. They're also fatty as hell and some have fillers that sneak a LOT of carbs in under the radar.

4. Are you eating fast food EVER? Even telling them to hold the bread on your burger will not help you if you're eating at McDonald's. There's no food in that food.

If you're eating a breakfast sandwich and you don't see them crack the egg onto the griddle, you are loading up on preservatives and fillers that will NOT act the same way the raw product will.

 Boil some eggs and have them on hand if you're always on the go. It would also help if you dropped at least one yolk for every three eggs. Two is better.

Nah, I don't usually do it either... but I'm still losing weight. If I ever stop you can bet I will.

I assure you that if you're doing these things, that's at least part of why you can't shake off the plateau. "Meat" in and of itself is not a go-to food. Real meat from identifiable SINGLE sources is.

I think the only exception I ever make to this rule is with ground beef and I only eat that because it has yet to prove any ill effects on the diet.

But you'll never catch me eating a McDonald's burger again. No way in hell.

Try changing a few of these bad habits and see if it doesn't boost your low-carb dieting efforts into overdrive. If it does, I want to hear about it.

90 Days and a Few Sizes Later...

I know, I know... I pretty much abandoned you for a while.

I've been low-carb dieting for 90 days now.

It's been a busy month (or so). We took several little trips and one week-long one up to Bar Harbor, Maine, where we stay every summer.

I want to share with you a story about this trip.

Last year, when we went up there, I had an ankle that was riddled with arthritis.

I was 365 pounds.

I couldn't walk without agony.

I couldn't walk for long at all without getting exhausted.

I couldn't climb over the rocks and hills to get the kinds of spectacular photos everyone else was getting.

I did more sitting than exploring.

I was miserable but I kept telling myself that miserable in Maine is better than miserable at home.

That's true enough - the scenery up there in Acadia is GORGEOUS.

The place where we stay has a gorgeous pebble beach and you can literally sit on a bench two feet from the water at high tide.

I used to spend countless hours on that beach.

Last year I ventured down there twice during the entire week.

Why? Because there's also a huge hill involved in getting there and I could not even bear the thought of climbing it multiple times.

I was just too huge.

I had no energy.

But what did I have? I had the fried clams. Several times. I had ice cream. I had fudge. I drank a lot of the local root beer.

I had all those things, but I had a lousy vacation.

When we arrived in Bar Harbor this year, I was probably close to 80 pounds lighter.

I had a good brace keeping the arthritis at bay.

I was climbing over rocks and scaling hills all over the place.

And I got some great pictures.

I'll share a couple of them in a few minutes.

Here's what I didn't do:

I didn't eat any fried clams.

I didn't eat any ice cream.

I didn't drink any root beer.

I didn't have any blueberry pie.

I didn't cheat on the diet. Not even once. Not even when no one was looking.

I took my son to play miniture golf and for the first time in three years I didn't need to rely on him to retrieve my ball because I was too huge to bend over and get it.

We played 64 total holes of adventure golf that week. I bent over to get my ball 64 times.

I wasn't drenched in sweat in 75 degree weather.

I never lost my breath climbing the hill after visiting the shore.

I had enough energy to get up at 4:00 AM to catch sunrise at Cadillac mountain.

My SON asked to sit down and rest more often than I did.

I walked all over Bar Harbor, up and down steep hills, through dozens of shops and didn't feel the need to sit down very often at all.

I EXPERIENCED this trip. I didn't just live through it.

And here's the best part: I'm only about halfway to my goal.

I have a lot of weight left to lose.

I can't even imagine what I'll be doing next year.

I've considered learning how to kayak.

And my wife might be joining me now that she's starting the diet too in a couple weeks. :-)

P.S. I bought my first 2X t-shirt in about 5 or 6 years and it fits. All my size 42 pants fit and they're all roomy.

And here are the pictures I promised...