My Toughest Day Yet

Even with all that I've been through, having survived the holidays, having said "no" over and over again to every conceivable comfort food there is for going on nine months now, I found today to be the toughest day yet for me in this process.

I've been sick for days.

And by sick, I mean the kind of sick that makes the thought of eating meat and vegetables make you feel even sicker.

Here's the problem: everything that will help me right now is off-limits. No ginger ale. No crackers. No toast with honey. No cream farina.

This is WAY harder than dealing with freshly baked biscuits at Thanksgiving.

This is about, "I thought the whole point of this is to get well. This is keeping me sick."

So I've tried eating some soft-scrambled eggs. Bleh.

I had some chicken soup last night. It was OK but the tummy wasn't thrilled.

What it would be thrilled with would be some fucking cream farina. With honey.

So here's what I've done:

Instead of ginger ale, I've steeped some ginger in tea. It curbed the nausea. I've tried eating small amounts of allowed foods and I'm building up a tolerance to it (slowly).
 
I've also reminded myself that this is the first and last time in my life that this is going to be an issue.

Next year, when cold and flu season hit, I will be at an appropriate weight and I will be able to have the comfort foods, the ones that are easy on the tummy at moments like this.

The reason I'm suffering now is because of what I've done to myself and now I'm paying the price.

Next year I'll reap the reward.

And that's just going to have to be good enough.