My Real Secret

I want to talk directly to my peeps on the Key plan right now.

I'm going to issue you a challenge.

I know that there are things on this plan that are very straightforward and there are others that are up for interpretation.

It's OK to eat beef. That's straightforward.

Is it OK to eat processed beef product?

That's open for interpretation.

It's OK to eat asparagus.

Is it OK to drown it in hollandaise? It's a condiment, right?

That's also open for interpretation.

I am one day shy of 9 months on this program.

A clueless medical tech revealed to me recently that I'm losing about 10 pounds a month at this point - it's between 8 and 10.

I still don't know my actual weight but I do know that I've dropped 4 pant sizes (logically it's more like 5) and 3 shirt sizes.

I've lost a FOOT off my midsection.

All this in just 9 months.

I have not been back to Julie for a refresher.

I have not called the office to ask permission to eat something I find questionable.

And let's face it, that's what people are doing when they call the office - they're looking for validation to do things that will hinder them.

Sorry if that comes off as a little judgmental, but it really is just human nature.

Many of us who had a problem with food addiction went through a period of grief when we started this.

I grieved like I had broken up with a lover.

Yes, I was totally in love with food. I preferred certain kinds of food over sex.

The beginning stages of that grief were full of shock, anger, resentment and fear.

I didn't know if I was going to make it 24 hours, let alone nine months.

I went through all the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance.

I have accepted that this is how I'm going to eat. I haven't cheated on this diet since I started.

Not one. damned. time.

And yet, in many ways, I haven't completely gotten past the bargaining stage.

I think a LOT of us get stuck there.

It's the thing that has us calling the office about food.

I want to challenge you all with something if you're on this program:

I want you to commit to trusting your intuition about food.

I want you to commit to never calling the office for validation to eat something you know you shouldn't.

I want you to start making choices based on what you think, not how you FEEL.

If you thought it was a good idea to eat something, you'd just eat it. You wouldn't be calling the office.

If you have to call the office, your intuition is already answering your question.

If your brain is telling you, "Don't eat that!" then don't eat it. Your brain is where the suggestions live. You don't need to consult with Julie's staff. Julie has put the answer in your head already.

When you know something isn't right, walk away from it. Say "NO!" out loud and with conviction if you have to.

I spent weeks over the holidays shouting at the Hallowe'en candy, cookies and cupcakes that were littering my kitchen while I was home alone.

"NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "NO!"

It's a decision that we make repeatedly.

When we make the decision to say, "NO!" we win.

Not sure if you should be eating that? The answer is, "NO!"

Say it with me: "NO!"

Is it something you might be able to introduce during maintenance?  Then get to your goal so you can go on maintenance.

And when you go on maintenance, start off with a refresher. Ask any questions you have during that session and be prepared for the disappointment of being told there are STILL things you shouldn't eat.

Because Julie is flat out NEVER going to tell you to eat a cupcake.

Does that mean you've eaten your last cupcake?

I don't know. I don't like the idea of the Zero Sum Game.

I've made final decisions about certain foods (that includes virtually all fast food, sodas and artificial sweeteners), but I'm open to the possibility of incorporating others, especially those that aren't constantly accessible.

Quick aside: There is no such thing as a good choice at a fast food restaurant. I don't care if you eat the Big Mac without the bun. It's fake food, pure and simple.

Ditto Subway with its turkey-based processed meat food, ditto Taco Hell with its 30% beef product, processed soy chicken and the highest fat content of any food in any fast food chain, ditto Dunkin with their fake eggs and sugar-soaked meat products.

It's all poison and it will keep you on a weight loss hamster wheel for YEARS if you keep bargaining to have it in your life. If thy right eye offends thee, pluck it out. There are better options.

Seriously, how long do you really want to be in the river? Aren't your arms getting tired from treading water and fighting the current? I know mine are. Big time. I can't wait to go on maintenance.

Meanwhile, back at the original post....

Now, Julie would likely disagree with me here but I believe I will reach a point where I can have some pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.

Because it's only on the table at Thanksgiving.

I may never eat another Dunkin Donut again, though, and I'm prepared for that eventuality even though it KILLS me to think I'll never taste a chocolate glazed donut again.

And it does kill me to think that...

But why, "yes," to pumpkin pie and, "no," to Dunkin Donuts?

Because you can't sling a dead cat in Western MA without hitting a DD. It's too accessible.

For the rest of our lives we are going to need to make better choices than the ones that led us into Julie's office.

The question is, when do we start making those choices independently?

Do we wait until we reach our goal so that when we have more complex decisions to make about food, we're unprepared?

Do we put ourselves in the position of gaining all the weight back because we never bothered to learn the single most vital skill this program teaches us?

Or do we start RIGHT NOW by making the INDEPENDENT choice to say, "NO!" when our intuition tells us that eating something would be a bad idea?

Think about it. Getting the answer right will save you a world of grief.

That's my secret to success on this - making the right decisions and making them myself.